Dutch Grapes

The losers of the evening – read their heads!

And the full team….

I added a category “Personal” as you might have noticed from the post below:) So, why not adding some more ‘interesting’ stuff that might reveal some about my being?! Just a note for the ones who read for fun… Personal stuff isn’t always fun!

First of all, with the title of this post I do not pretend to know something about women in Asian cultures, or if it matters to you, I do not pretend to know something about women at all actually! (As we all know the classic story from John Gray – Men are from Mars and women are from Venus) But instead I will just share some of my experiences with you about women in Asian cultures :)

Interesting enough I have the pleasure of living among Asian people and having some good friends in this society as well. I did not choose for this, but do not care about it too much either. Ethnical groups growing up in a different surrounding than their home country make them a little conservative sometime. In that way, they tend to stick to their own culture and living by the rules of the tradition – not realizing themselves that the same tradition in their home country actually does adopt to the western life standards faster than it does here! It is said that it is not always easy to live between two cultures. In one way they want to respect your parents and live by their tradition, but on the other hand, their parents have chosen to raise their children in another society, so adopting to the new standards seems inevitable. This results in a continuous dilemma for the children of pleasing the parents (or culture and society) or choose for yourself. Making this choice more easy on themselves, is to choose for a fellow bi-cultural person. Not just because of their character, but mainly because of their ethnical and social background.

And here I stand, with this knowledge and in this perspective I have to find my woman. Living among Asian people makes it very realistic to feel attracted to them as well. But I have only one disadvantage, I have another ethnical and social background as my fellow competitors. And as you can read from my previous post, I do not use the checklist system, so instincts is all I use. And after five years, I can tell it does not work if one of the parties is using the checklist system and the other one is not. Quite frustrating… but hey I am not a quitter! So I will continue dedicating myself on the inpossible mission: making this world a global one where ethnical background is of no interest! (All this of course in order to find the woman of my dreams ;)

Wonderful. Another date that leads to nothing but friendship. Time for reviewing my tactics or perhaps even my way of judging my date(s)?! Thinking of it, do I look for something else than friendship? Having a look around learns me that breaking up or having this boring daily routine (that nobody probably can escape from) will not make me happy either.

Time Management
I think I am one of the few guys out there that does not think about sex for every 3 seconds(or at least that is what the statistics say about men) or so. Not needing sexual attention that much, leaves me with a lot of time to do other things… for example… dating women;)

The selection procedure
As selecting my dates very carefully, I always start from the obvious “the outside” – cutting that crap about how NOT important the shell is, but that only the inside counts. When finally at this very date, we talk about the sheep and the cows and how great the weather is today and how it totally sucked yesterday. Then after a few hours the moment of truth comes… Will there be a second date or will there be “eternal friendship” instead!?

But a woman would not be a woman to be NOT clear about such things. “Hell, no!” Why would she? She LOVES the attention! And of course, I am one of those Mr. good guys, that doesn’t mind giving that kind of attention. “She is fun, she is nice.” And honestly, it is not bad at all if you indeed don’t want the relation stuff. You can go do all the fun stuff with her and in the end you just say goodbye again. No fights, never have to give dishonest opinions (“Sure darling, your dress looks tremendously beautiful on you!”), etcetera. But what if you DO think you like this specific woman?! Or even worse, you think that she does not deserve her current boyfriend (my favorite situation;). Will you keep trying and hoping? No way!

The checklist system
On my last ‘sort of’ date, we actually had a quite interesting conversation on judging dates with help of a checklist system.

If your date is not ranking itself high enough – then it is EXIT for him or her.

Even though she was looking for a serious partner (perhaps a life partner, I am not sure), the checklist system seems to be interesting for all purposes. Maintaining this list from the start eliminates all kind of unwanted external influence, such as feelings and affection. Basically it is something we all do in our mind, but we just do not attach too much value to it. Writing it down and evaluating your date or perhaps relationship, can take a way a lot of insecurities.

Evaluation
It was an interesting date. So right after I came back home, I started evaluating with help of the list in my head, and not the one on paper. (As I did not have one… yet!) And… the outcome was that during this evaluation process I fell asleep. *Hey, talking to ladies can make men VERY tired sometimes* The next day I remembered the date again and decided I am not going for the list. I will just continue trusting my instincts, no matter how bad they seem to be sometime ;)